4.21 thoughts
May. 8th, 2009 10:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
x5valeMy thoughts...still a little bit inchoerent.
-the first scene: I saw a desperate big brother who was trying to save his
desperate little brother. I think Dean was right about the reasons behind Sam
beahviour. I think Sam's addiction is not a sign of strenght but a sign of weakness.
Sam was weak and his only way out was using his powers and becoming addicted to what he thought could help him.
Sadly, years ago, I have seen the effect of detoxication on my brother...sadly I know what Dean was suffering and how much Sam was in pain..it's not a matter of who is hurting the most, they both are. They both
are reacting according to their personality.
What I can say about Sam is that he has fought during all his life to be what he could have never been and sometimes it's better to follow what life wants for you. Sometimes this way is easier to deal with it. Accept who you are and learn to live with it. Sam has never done it and now it's too late.
-Sam and his nightmare. It's so clear he needs to justify himself exactly like Dean needed John's approval in the past.
Mary's words about Dean were Sam's thoughts, Sam's real thoughts about his
brother...very very sad. Dean's words were Sam's ones, the Sammy human and rational part. As he truly sees himself. As he fears Dean sees him. In those words there were all the things Sam is scared of. To lose his brother, to become a monster.
-Dean...I really don't want to talk about him because..well to me he was just
perfect. Scared, desperate, alone. TRying hard to save his brother but resignes to let him go. To let him die, human. Finally ready to accept what God wants from him, dying inside but again embracing his destiny. Committimg himself to God was like accepting who he is. Finally. Still thinking of Sam. Defeated at the end when he told Sam what John had already told to his younger son. Tired. Still, with a work to do.
The only word I have to describe him is broken. Completely and utterly broken.
-I really love Castiel, with all his emotions, contradictions and pain.
Committed to God but feeling sorry for some decisions he was forced to make.
-Bobby and Sam...the scene was heartbreaking because you can really see how much Bobby cares about Sam too and how far Sam can go even though he knows he's doing the wrong thing.
-skipping comments about Ruby and Sam in the last scene with Dean because they wouldn't be nice and I don't have enough time to explain what I mean.
-to summarize, the worst thing was to see Sam so convinced to do the right thing meanwhile part of him knew he was wrong but he couldn't and/or didn't want to stop.
About Dean, the most painful thing was seeing him letting his brother go. I still think he did the right thing because only separated the boys can find themselves again and have a fresh start of their bond. They need time to heal, to rebond, to be brothers again and they will, I'm sure, but this big, violent, cruel fight was needed.
It was heartbreaking to see how much Sam wanted Dean on his side and viceversa. How much they both defended the trust they had in Ruby and in the angels. How this separated them, even though they both wanted to prevent the Apocalypse.
It was heartbreaking to see Sam begging Dean to trust him and Dean saying no,...there is everything their relationship has been so far in those lines.
"you are not strong enough"..."it means you are a monster". At the end they come clean, hurting inside and each other. I was dying to see this moment and I'm totally satisfied with how they handled it. The fight, the lines, everything was perfect but I think it won't be easy to forgive Sam this time. Demon's blood or not, what Sam did and what he said was what a monster would have done and it was totally his choice. At least for me.
Oh Dean...wish I could cuddle you forever...*sighs*
Both Jared and Jensen were simply awesome in that last scene.
-Jared was great in this episode. I think one of his best performance.
Jensen? Imho he portrayed Dean at his best. Subtle, angry, desperate, fierce, sad, broken, resigned. All these emotions surfaced just throughout Jensen face and voice.
-the first scene: I saw a desperate big brother who was trying to save his
desperate little brother. I think Dean was right about the reasons behind Sam
beahviour. I think Sam's addiction is not a sign of strenght but a sign of weakness.
Sam was weak and his only way out was using his powers and becoming addicted to what he thought could help him.
Sadly, years ago, I have seen the effect of detoxication on my brother...sadly I know what Dean was suffering and how much Sam was in pain..it's not a matter of who is hurting the most, they both are. They both
are reacting according to their personality.
What I can say about Sam is that he has fought during all his life to be what he could have never been and sometimes it's better to follow what life wants for you. Sometimes this way is easier to deal with it. Accept who you are and learn to live with it. Sam has never done it and now it's too late.
-Sam and his nightmare. It's so clear he needs to justify himself exactly like Dean needed John's approval in the past.
Mary's words about Dean were Sam's thoughts, Sam's real thoughts about his
brother...very very sad. Dean's words were Sam's ones, the Sammy human and rational part. As he truly sees himself. As he fears Dean sees him. In those words there were all the things Sam is scared of. To lose his brother, to become a monster.
-Dean...I really don't want to talk about him because..well to me he was just
perfect. Scared, desperate, alone. TRying hard to save his brother but resignes to let him go. To let him die, human. Finally ready to accept what God wants from him, dying inside but again embracing his destiny. Committimg himself to God was like accepting who he is. Finally. Still thinking of Sam. Defeated at the end when he told Sam what John had already told to his younger son. Tired. Still, with a work to do.
The only word I have to describe him is broken. Completely and utterly broken.
-I really love Castiel, with all his emotions, contradictions and pain.
Committed to God but feeling sorry for some decisions he was forced to make.
-Bobby and Sam...the scene was heartbreaking because you can really see how much Bobby cares about Sam too and how far Sam can go even though he knows he's doing the wrong thing.
-skipping comments about Ruby and Sam in the last scene with Dean because they wouldn't be nice and I don't have enough time to explain what I mean.
-to summarize, the worst thing was to see Sam so convinced to do the right thing meanwhile part of him knew he was wrong but he couldn't and/or didn't want to stop.
About Dean, the most painful thing was seeing him letting his brother go. I still think he did the right thing because only separated the boys can find themselves again and have a fresh start of their bond. They need time to heal, to rebond, to be brothers again and they will, I'm sure, but this big, violent, cruel fight was needed.
It was heartbreaking to see how much Sam wanted Dean on his side and viceversa. How much they both defended the trust they had in Ruby and in the angels. How this separated them, even though they both wanted to prevent the Apocalypse.
It was heartbreaking to see Sam begging Dean to trust him and Dean saying no,...there is everything their relationship has been so far in those lines.
"you are not strong enough"..."it means you are a monster". At the end they come clean, hurting inside and each other. I was dying to see this moment and I'm totally satisfied with how they handled it. The fight, the lines, everything was perfect but I think it won't be easy to forgive Sam this time. Demon's blood or not, what Sam did and what he said was what a monster would have done and it was totally his choice. At least for me.
Oh Dean...wish I could cuddle you forever...*sighs*
Both Jared and Jensen were simply awesome in that last scene.
-Jared was great in this episode. I think one of his best performance.
Jensen? Imho he portrayed Dean at his best. Subtle, angry, desperate, fierce, sad, broken, resigned. All these emotions surfaced just throughout Jensen face and voice.
