SPN S08E06 reaction: Dean broke my heart again

[x5vale]

Credit goes where it's due.

Warning: NOT SAM FRIENDLY. Well actually I don't like Sam right now, but I like the potential he has in this season.


-"He's my friend.." I won't even try to explain why Dean had a point when he said that Sam just abandoned him, while Benny didn't because seriously it's so obvious....
Also, Sam is having an understandable reaction too, especially considering their previous actions and thoughts on the whole "killing or not killing monsters" matter. Personally, monsters are not all the same and people do change. But what Sam has not understood about his brother in all his life, is that Dean has never killed anyone without a reason. Never.
Yes, Dean killed Amy but don't forget that Sam killed Dean's daughter. They are even in this department. Benny is totally another story.

-Garth!!!! This guy really cracks me up every time. Sometimes he is the only voice of reason in this show.

-Dean doesn't like Garth mimicking Bobby at all. LOL.

-Sorry not interested in Amelia's life and in Sam's realationship with her. Probably because the actress leaves me completely indifferent.

-"You're not Bobby". Oh Dean I get you are hurt, but Garth was right. Bobby was not just yours and Garth is hurting too. So yeah...he doesn't deserve to be treated like that. Anyway, Dean's change in attitude was his way to say that he was sorry about it.

-Sammy...he called him Sammy again. It gives me all the feels...

-So Dean gets the spectre inside and this is why he is going to talk to Sam. Well actually talking pointing a gun at him. I have to say, I don't like that there's must be a supernatural event to make these boys talk (like being demon possessed, the sirens and now a spectre) because I would like them to be mature enough to actually confront each other. But these are the Winchesters and they are both too messed up to act like they should, so I can live with this because at least Dean's issues are coming out.
That scene was very much alike to the Asylum one. Everything Sam said there was true. It was how Sam was feeling about his brother, so mirroring that one scene, this one is bringing up everything Dean is feeling.

-"Those are choices". Yes, they are. Yes Sam always chose. The only thing he didn't choose was to be marked when he was a newborn, but everything Dean said it's true. I think Sam has never fully realized how Dean perceived his choices and this is also because Dean never really held him accountable for them. When he did, he also said that there was not enough time to waste regrettting them and that they were brothers and should just stick together and move on...but we can't really get over some things because all we feel about some actions is deception. We feel hurt, betrayed, deceived.
"Yeah, I might have lied, but I never once betrayed you. I never once left you die". This is pure gold, because it's exactly the story of their realtionship. Dean has hidden things from Sam, he has made mistakes, but he has never left, he has never given up on him, he has never betrayed him. Dean spent a whole year with Lisa keeping looking for Sam, hurting because he thought he was dead while he was alive, hunting without him. Sam and Bobby did betray Dean keeping that secret from him. And since Sam was soulless, he didn't do to protect his own brother. He did because he didn't care and he didn't need him...only when he needed Dean he got back and screwed with his brother's life again. Sam once again, chose. Damn this wasn't meant to be a "not friendly" Sam post, but I can't even start to write down all the feels I have right now. It's like 7 years of issues I have had with their relationship have exploded. I know, there's Sam side too and I know Dean has done wrong things too....but imho there's a difference. There are serious mistakes that can be fixed and betrayals that change relationships forever, even when you mend them, they won't ever be the same.

-"Benny has been more than a brother for me this past year, than you've ever been". Ouch this hurts, but I get it. The meaning of that whole scene is clear.
It's not like Dean meant that Cas and Sam had just let him down and done nothing good for him. It's not this, but the diferrence between them and Benny it's that Benny has been the only one who has never let him down...so far.
I'm quoting this girl from TUMBLR ambular-d
it’s possible to debate whether either Sam or Cas has done more good or bad—for Dean personally or for the world in general—but there’s no doubt they’ve both made some jaw-droppingly horrible blunders in defiance of every warning, plea and threat Dean threw at them. (I’ve discussed the mantle of moral authority that the show tends, I think erroneously, to bestow upon Dean elsewhere, and I’m sort of hoping this Benny situation will turn out to be the thing that derails that trend.)

I remember someone (can’t remember who now, apologies) saying that Dean holds himself to impossibly high standards; something he inherited from John, probably. As a result, he tends to do the same thing to other people, and to be disproportionately crushed when they don’t live up to his expectations—as will inevitably happen with everyone at some point.
I think that’s what Dean was expressing in that scene: Benny is the only person who (so far, at least) has risen to the occasion every single time Dean has asked anything of him, even when Dean had good reason to expect that Benny wouldn’t. Unfortunately, since Benny—even if he actually is a good guy—is certainly not perfect either, it’s only a matter of time before that changes.

She nailed it perfectly imo. Dean claims too much from himself and he expects the others to do the same. I can so totally relate, because I do the same and while rationally I know it's not totally fair because we are not all alike, I hurt more and feel more when someone let me down. This is what happens to Dean too. But here the point is that Dean is right and Sam is wrong. I don't even want to start to question it because they come from two very different situations (Dean was in Purgatory and please don't understimate what it means and Sam was on Earth).

-Sam talking about losing Dean...*sighs*

-No Sam no...for a second in that flashback I felt for you. I did really feel for you and now you are turning everything on Dean again? Haven't you listened to your brother? Have you tried to symphatize? Have you felt his pain? Sorry Sam, you were left on Earth living your life. As much as you were hurting, Dean was not just hurting in Purgatory. He was fighting, he was trying to survive. Sam...no, just no. NO NO NO. This is all wrong, your reaction is wrong, your reasons are wrong. I hope there's more. I hope the writers will give you an explanation because if this had to be the episode where I should have felt your pain and your sorrow, I didn't. I just saw a self-righteous, selfish person who thinks to be the victim, who thinks to be right, who thinks he deserves to be elsewhere with someone else (well Sam please go, just go).

That line about Benny...That line was horrible, cruel, uncalled for.
Does he want to kill him because he is a vampire or because he is between Sam and Dean? Because he and Dean share something Sam doesn't have anymore? Because is he jealous? I think the real issue is that for the very first time Sam is realizing that he is not the focus of Dean's life anymore. Dean is not there to forgive him and get over it this time. Sam is trying to make an old dynamic work but it doesn't anymore. Every time he has threated Dean with "if you don't stop, I run away", Dean has always decided to get over their issues, but this time it's not going to work. Benny is the one who can really be a threat to Sam in his way of considering Dean his. Sam is possessive of Dean, Sam considers Dean as his own property and now he is not anymore, because Dean has changed his attitude. Sam is realizing that he can't take Dean for granted anymore, hence this rage. I hope to see this developed. I have to say, and the writers are doing good, for the first time in years Sam is having some kind of development because he has now the chance to understand that he can't take Dean for granted. Dean punched him in the face when he told him that line about Benny being more than a brother than he has ever been. It hurt Sam, but it was due because Sam must understand that he has to change if he still wants Dean in his life.

Let's hope this thing won't get lost.

Comments

[metallidean-grl.livejournal.com]

AFter this episode I have so much love and heart aches for Dean and so much anger, irritation and loathing towards Sam, I don't know how to sort through all these feelings and emotions. We are definitely on the same page when it comes to Dean and Sam in this episode. My first reaction with Sam at the end of this episode was - I hate him, I literally hate him right now. But after viewing the episode a second time and letting it all sit overnight, I have tempered a little bit, but, I still have A LOT of negative feelings for Sam,

I think Sam has never fully realized how Dean perceived his choices and this is also because Dean never really held him accountable for them. This is so so so true. Every time Sam screwed up, the boys had more important matters to deal with and they really needed to be in tune with each other, so Dean had to force down any negative feelings he had about Sam because at that time the task at hand was more important. But, those emotions can only be held down for so long and with Sam not looking for Dean while he was in Purgatory brought them all back up to the surface, the new betrayal, and all the old betrayals and now Dean is finally dealing with them. Sam has to be accountable, he can't glide by anymore - Sam has always complained about how he feels treated like the "little brother" with Dean and not on equal footing. Well, Sam, you are finally getting what you wished for. Dean is treating you on equal footing and you are now going to have to face up to your actions. Dean is not going to let you get away with it any longer. Somehow I don't think Sam liked that too much.

Agree that we haven't really experienced Sam's pain and sorrow. We finally had one little statement from Sam telling Amelia that he recently lost his brother, but all of Sam's other flashbacks have been such that he is moving on in his life. We haven't seen grief, we haven't seen him breaking down and having a hard time with life because his brother isn't there anymore. What we have seen is a Sam that looks like he is trying to find something, he is fixing things and developing relationships - but I just don't get that Sam is grieving at all. And given as to how important his brother is to him, I would have expected something different. What I do see is that Sam is no longer tethered by his brother, by hunting - yes, he may miss Dean, but not enough and now he is finally free to go a live that life he always wanted to live. I just wonder if maybe a part of Sam is irritated and angry now that Dean is alive and back in his life.

I also wonder if Sam's negative reaction to Benny is not because he is a vampire, but because he is jealous of the close bond that the two obviously have. And you are right, Sam is not the central focus in Dean's life anymore. Sam is no longer the be all, protect all focus and motivating force in Dean's life. So, yes, I would say jealousy is playing a big part in Sam's feelings right now. But I loved your comments of Sam thinking that Dean is his property. Interesting take and not something that I would have thought of, but I do agree with that. Dean wants Sam with him because he just wants his family together, but Dean's driving purpose was always Sam - that is not the case anymore. Dean's driving force and purpose now is all about the hunt, the saving lives, the family business. Dean's driving force is dropping everything and helping Benny. That's a hard dynamic shift to understand. I do relate to Sam's side of the issue, but it is a definite shift in the brothers relationship and a great way for both of them to mature individually and collectively. But what Sam said at the end about possibly being the hunter that will kill Benny - that was cruel, that was mean, and yes, that was totally uncalled for. But the look on Dean's face - that said to me that if Sam were the one to kill Benny, I think THAT would be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Sam, in Dean's mind and heart, would be forever changed for the worse if Sam did that and I don't think that would be a betrayal that Dean could or would ever get over.

[x5vale.livejournal.com]

My first reaction with Sam at the end of this episode was - I hate him, I literally hate him right now.
I am not even mad at him. I am disappointed but it's always been like that with him so I guess I don't exoect anything more from him.

so Dean had to force down any negative feelings he had about Sam because at that time the task at hand was more important.
It's teh story of Dean's life. He has never been allowed to explain how he felt and on the other hand, sam was really never ready to fully understand his brother issues, being always too focuse on hismelf.

the new betrayal, and all the old betrayals and now Dean is finally dealing with them.
This is the best thing of the season. Seeing Dean dealing with all his pain.

Well, Sam, you are finally getting what you wished for. Dean is treating you on equal footing and you are now going to have to face up to your actions. Dean is not going to let you get away with it any longer. Somehow I don't think Sam liked that too much.
Of course he didn't. It's like Dean is not his comfort zone anymore and this new Dean is scaring him.

We haven't seen grief, we haven't seen him breaking down and having a hard time with life because his brother isn't there anymore.
I really don't get why they haven't given us glimpses of it. It's always like that with Sam. You have to imagine what he is going through but you never fully see it.

What I do see is that Sam is no longer tethered by his brother, by hunting - yes, he may miss Dean, but not enough and now he is finally free to go a live that life he always wanted to live. I just wonder if maybe a part of Sam is irritated and angry now that Dean is alive and back in his life.
I think he is irritated but he left his perfect real life before knowing Dean was back, so there's more about him than it meets the eye.

I also wonder if Sam's negative reaction to Benny is not because he is a vampire, but because he is jealous of the close bond that the two obviously have.
He is. It's the first time Dean kinda ditches his brother and Sam is not used to it (usually it's him to sneak out during the night and vanishing without telling Dean where's going. It happens at least once a season!!!).

But I loved your comments of Sam thinking that Dean is his property.
Taking him for granted is something Sam can't afford anymore and he really doesn't know how to handle it.

I do relate to Sam's side of the issue, but it is a definite shift in the brothers relationship and a great way for both of them to mature individually and collectively.
THIS!

But the look on Dean's face - that said to me that if Sam were the one to kill Benny, I think THAT would be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Sam, in Dean's mind and heart, would be forever changed for the worse if Sam did that and I don't think that would be a betrayal that Dean could or would ever get over.
Let's hope Sam understands this, because otherwise I want to see them apart.